Learning the Rules

I was 21 when I had broke it off with my fiance. He was my first. I can remember crying the first time he entered me on the living room floor of my grandmother's house late one night. I was watching it for her while she was away, it was the first time we could be alone without the parent element threatening every cracked bedroom door. I had made him wait, and he did so very sweetly. I was nervous, I was going to hell if I did this, but I loved him, and he loved me,so it made it okay. He wanted to marry me, he asked me to be his wife after only being together for two weeks. I laughed at him then told him was nuts, but here I was on my back, getting a slight case of carpet burn on my back while my boyfriend forced his (though I didn't know it at the time) large cock inside me. God it hurt, there was a feeling of tearing, my whole body was shaking. I bit my lips and whimpered like a lost puppy. After the first few minutes it got easier, I got wetter. I had no idea what was happening to me. All I could do was dig my nails in and hold on as tight as I could and wait. I relaxed a bit my body still shivering it was so over whelming, I didn't cum per say, I had no idea what an orgasm felt like? I had never touched myself to know what one would feel like on my own let alone a shared one with a partner. Now looking back it wasn't any kind of traditional orgasm I am familiar with now, but it was something, I cried and shook. Was this what love felt like? This completely over whelming and consuming sensation of two people trying to force themselves into one body?

I scared him, he didn't know I was crying. I had bit it back behind blistered lips and puppy like whimpers. My tears made him cry. He begged for forgiveness, he never meant to hurt me, he never wanted to hurt me. He cradled himself in my lap trying to disappear, rocking, holding me, kissing my flesh begging me to tell him it was okay. I wiped my teas and told him I was fine, it only hurt for a little bit and that they where just tears of joy and over whelmed sensation. He had done a fine job I did enjoy myself and more than anything, the tiny thing I tucked away and kept for myself.That pain, the feeling of his length and girth stretching and tearing at me, hitting the back of my pussy like a giant iron cast door knocker did hurt, but it hurt in the strangest and most delicious way, and then I was curious and need to find out more.

After three years and a lot of empty promises, I found myself no longer loving my partner. I didn't miss his presents when he was away. His touch didn't thrill, his voice didn't ring in my ears or make me smile. I took to just jerking him off when he was horny. I would lay next to him, lightly moaning and rubbing against his thigh. It kept him appeased and let me off the hook. I left him and moved back home. 21 and living back with my parents not my best moment but it was better then where I had been. I found myself revisiting a few old web boards my ex had introduced me too. WBS for any of you old school web surfers of yore. I was greeted by some old familiar handles, it was nice and of course stared coming across some new ones as well. One in particular was very fascinating and a fast friendship was crafted.